3 months later and I remembered I had this Blog

I take it in stride. Not sure what that means exactly. "A long, decisive step" is a definition of stride. Another definition is "to walk with long steps, as with vigor, haste, impatience, or arrogance". Yeah, I can be impatient sometimes..but I hope I'm never arrogant.
Anyways...where I was going with this before googling the definition of "stride"...
Life throws you curveballs constantly (at least it throws it at me that way mostly). What we do with those curveballs defines us as human beings, which differentiates us from the cockroaches, amoebas, slugs, biebers and olsen twins.

I like to think that the curveballs life has thrown at me with great force have been either diverted or caught with whatever strength I could muster. I like to believe that I've taken life's slaps in the face and overcame them. Screw you curveballs!!!! I have a roof over my head. I have a tolerable job. I have a reliable car. I have family and friends full of love.
I could complain about life, which I may do sometimes...but right now I can't complain at all. Even though I'm not a millionaire or have a great job or have physical perfection...I'm satisfied with my life right now...not overjoyed, but satisfied. That's all that matters. So many can't say that, but I can. :)

Getting older sucks the big one

It's like...am I really getting as old as the calendar dictates?
You watch reruns of the X-Files...in about 2 weeks and a day or two, it's been off the air as a new show for 10 years! :(
Nose and ear hair...seriously?!?!? I know you were there when I was younger...but did you have to become stronger and spit in my face when I look in the mirror and arm myself with nosehair clipper, razor and whatnot?
"Star Wars"...35 years old this year...not a pleasant thing for me.
Susan Olsen...Cindy Brady from the "Brady Bunch" will turn 50 this year.
These are the things that make me appreciate the occasional whiskey shots. I may be getting older and it may take me some more minutes to present myself (ear shaving, nosehair plucking...just looking in the mirror and saying F it! some mornings)
Tootie from "Facts of Life" is 43...and she will turn 44 this year whether she likes it or not!
Aubrey O'Day...28 or 29 this year...like it matters! Oh, wait...she's the only thing that matters! Oh, wait...WHOOOOO?!?!?!?!?
I shall now log off and go to bed. Of course my bladder will as usual wake me up at 5am or so for...well you can determine that for yourself. Then I shall go back to bed and toss and turn for the remaining hour or so until I have to get up to go to work. It's life...we live with it!

The theory is that everything in nature serves some purpose...but SERIOUSLY?!?!?!? My "at the moment" top 5...

1. Dust (I dusted my keyboard last week...and it's back! What purpose?!?!?)
2. Lint (It's in my dryer lint catcher...it's in my belly button at the end of the day...WTF?)
3. Toenail growth...we clip them but they keep coming back (fingernail growth I can accept)
4. The Situation (Yeah, that Jersey Shore guy...I defy anyone to explain the purpose)
5. That icky crusty stuff in the corner of your eyes when you get up in the morning...just annoying

Supermarket Shenanigans! Not as naughty as it may seem...

So I just posted this on my Facebook page...and the therapeutic value was so large that I had to share it here (names of others have been disguised as TV characters to protect the innocent)

 

 

Marty Meyerdierks

37 minutes ago near Patterson

• Easter candy 75% off at the A&P today.....GIGGEDY!!!! Bought a bag of Easter Snickers, a bag of Easter Crunches and 2 bags of Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs. The Peeps were tempting...but I showed restraint!

  · ·

  • Gilligan and Julie the Cruise Director like this.
  • • 

      Marty Meyerdierks

      Oh...and I also displayed 2 acts of kindness at the A&P today...
      One regular checkout line open when I walked up to check out...clearly beat this other woman to the line (2 people line...not a long one), but I had a cart full with about 40 ...See More

      30 minutes ago · · 1
    •  You felt so generous because you had all that candy....Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs are my favorite by far and of course Starburst Jelly Beans....
      The Soup Nazi

      26 minutes ago · · 1
    • 

      Marty Meyerdierks LOL

      25 minutes ago ·
    • 

      Marty Meyerdierks

      Seriously...we've all been there when we have a small amount of items and some biotch with 2 carts full jumps ahead of you in line and then goes through the lengthy trial of paying with a check and having items with no price so the cashier has to get someone to check the price and then she has coupons for things she didn't buy and chaos ensues when she refuses to even attempt to bag her own groceries so the cashier has to do it because the store doesn't hire baggers since the 1980s and you end up growing a lengthy beard while your ice cream melts waiting for this self-absorbed biotch who also adds extra money on the check to get cash like she's at the bank or something....
      OMG...that was very therapeutical for me to get that off my chest!

      18 minutes ago · · 2
  • 

    Write a comment...

AIDS: We're aware...now let's cure

AIDS awareness charities...a good thing and I applaud them. But....going off on a tangent here that some may not like...I think we're all aware of AIDS now (those who aren't have probably been living under a rock for the past 25 years). We don't need awareness anymore. We need a cure...treatment...research. Too many are still dying from AIDS. The years have shown that it's not a "gay disease". It's a disease that affects humans across all walks of life and all preferences, races, etc.
The red ribbons are all fine and dandy, but money is needed for research. It's 2012. We're aware that it exists and is a devastating disease, and we're aware of the precautions to take to prevent it. Unfortunately, no matter how cautious the majority of us are that take steps toward prevention, it still exists. Many cases happen regardless of cautious steps, and far too many are born with this awful disease at no fault of their own. Let's support research now to hopefully find a cure. http://www.amfar.org/

The Reality TV Rant

My occasional rant about "reality" TV...
First off...there's too much of it, and a lot of it isn't even a reflection of "reality". Most of it is just sensationalist, "National Enquirer", exploitation TV. Mob Wives, Toddlers forced to wear Tiaras and hooker makeup rather than just being allowed to be little girls, Dance Moms dealing with a bitchy dance teacher with mad cow disease, sluts (both female and male) having flower ceremonies to eliminate potential booty calls based on the most superficial things, and so many shows centered around the "real lives" of privileged dregs to society (Kardashians, mob wives, "real" housewives, Jersey Shore losers, ad nauseum...
Admittedly I do watch a number of "reality" shows...but the ones I watch have a purpose other than glorifying the worst that humanity has to offer.  Biggest Loser, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Pawn Stars (Chum Lee still cracks me up), Shark Tank, What Would You Do?, Undercover Boss...there are some in the category that I embrace. However, the amount of "reality" shows on the number of channels nowadays has become ridiculous. Seriously...hog hunters, a tattoo artist competition, exterminators, swamp people, extreme couponers, swapping wives...what's next? A show about people who scratch their asses? Extreme Buttscratch: the Hemorrhoid Edition?!?!? Enough's enough!

Oscar Nom for Melissa RULES!!!

So...they announced the Oscar nominees for this year very early this morning. The typicals and predictables were nominated, as usual (Streep, Scorcese, Woody, Clooney, Close, Pitt...Spielberg snubbed again). But there's one nomination that brought a smile to my face...Melissa McCarthy in "Bridesmaids". Haven't seen the movie yet, but I really like Melissa. Recently and deservedly won an Emmy for her work on the TV show "Mike & Molly". Not the typical, Hollywood glamour gal with an 18 inch waist, Melissa is making a name for herself through talent over physical image (something lacking a lot lately in the entertainment industry). Don't get me wrong, she's a beautiful woman...just not the paper-doll, looks gorgeous on the outside with nothing going on past the image. She's got my vote, and I hope she has more great success in years to come.

Friggin' hairs!

Stubble...shaving...what kind of thwarted joke is this that God has bestowed upon us? Face...armpits...legs...nether regions...
Sure...we want hair to grow on our heads and will resort to rogaine or other desperate measures for that...but in all seriousness I don't want to look like 2/3 of ZZ Top. I don't want to have to "manscape". Why do I have to shave my face every 2 days just to avoid looking like a hobo? And why do I have to spend my hard-earned money on a nosehair/earhair clipper? Friggin' hair! Just grow where I want it to and stop growing like weeds in places I don't dammit! Oh...and stop growing in white on my chest! I don't want to be Kenny Rogers for Heaven's sake!

I swear...I'm not pregnant!

Excuses, excuses...yes, I'm the King of Excuses. I need to lose weight, because quite frankly I'm tired of people stopping me on the street asking me when I'm due. OK...I just lied. Nobody has stopped me on the street asking that...basically because I'm never on the street (too busy working out my mouse finger for hours on end doing pointless things like "liking" pointless Facebook posts and bursting virtual bubble wrap).
First goal...stopping the late night snacks (and by "snacks" I mean practically a meal before going to bed). Hard to get to sleep on an empty stomach, but maybe just a small amount of cottage cheese or fibrous cereal will do the trick rather than Stouffer's Mac & Cheese or a Celeste Pizza or a can of Chef BoyRDee double stuffed ravioli.
Goal 2: more exercise. No excuses here. I get 2 15 minute breaks and a half hour lunch at work. I eat lunch and smoke. Should do some walking after eating lunch and while smoking (although I should stop smoking...but that's another future goal and doesn't add to the zeppelin that is known as my tummy).
Goal 3: stop with the empty calories known as whiskification™. OK...honestly...I know it contributes, but drinking a little every now and then is my vice and until society stops revering the Kardashians and those Jersey Shore assclowns...not to mention Paris Hilton, Usher and his "protege" Justin Beaver (I could get nasty, but I'll stick with the word "protege")...I can't see myself giving up the occasional shot heard 'round the world (well, at least heard round my tummy).

I thought there was some inspirational, "let's all get physically fit" brouhaha that I was going for here...but I lost my train of thought.

Survival

2012...supposedly the "end of days". Well...if it's the end of Mondays, I'm OK with that...unless it's a 3 day weekend, then it should be the end of Tuesdays. Heck! (yeah, I said "Heck") Let it be the end of all days except Saturdays and Sundays (and 3 day weekend Mondays). Oh...and protect Susan Dey (pronounced like "day") who was Laurie Partridge and got radio stuff transmitted in her braces. I swear I was going somewhere with this, but my train of thought derailed.

New Hampshire Primaries

New Hampshire primary results (78% of precincts reporting)...
Mitt Romney    70,191    38.3%   
Ron Paul    42,529    23.2%   
Jon Huntsman    31,054    17%   
Newt Gingrich    17,661    9.6%   
Rick Santorum    17,560    9.6%   
Rick Perry       1,323  0.7%   
Michele Bachmann   250  0.1%   
Other            2,561  1.4%

Now, for one thing Michele Bachmann dropped out before the NH Primary, so apparently there are at least 250 voters in NH who have no clue.
"Other" (there are no others, are there?) got more votes than Rick Perry, which says a lot about Rick Perry.
Onto the others...
Rick Santorum...last name sounds like a video game quest location...or a place that might be a receptacle of Christmas refuse.
Jon Huntsman!  The Mighty Huntsman! Deer, ducks, quail, rabbits...run for cover!
Ron Paul...impressive number...but your last name is a first name. Aside from that I like you. You're like to cool old uncle who tries to bring reason unto the family gatherings that are full of family bitchiness and resentment.
Which brings me to Mitt and Newt. Now seriously...could you imagine having a President named after a baseball glove or a lizard?
Can you tell I'm not really political?

2011 fails (sarcasm up front)

Facebook changes its layout to great reviews from its users.

GMail changes its layout to great reviews from its users.

"2 1/2 Men" continues without Charlie Sheen and with Ashton Kutcher to great reviews from its fans.

ABC moves "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" from Sunday night to Friday night to great convenience for its fans.

Hundreds declare sexual molestation by college athletic staffs 20 years after the fact all of a sudden (not saying that none of it is true...but seriously...where were you all the last 20 years?).

99% of American politicians prove that they are sucky and can't reach simple decisions without resorting to "I know you are, but what am I?".

Friends neglect to awaken a passed out friend at 3am when a naked foreigner knocks at the hotel room door. (that's a personal one...and don't ever let it happen again!)

The US Postal Service announces that they will soon cut out one day a week of misdelivering 5% of mail that's been torn and bent (even though the envelope clearly states "do not bend") and claiming they tried to deliver a certified letter but nobody was home even though someone was and they didn't even attempt so you have to go out of your way to wait on line at the PO for 1/2 hour.

The "Footloose" remake.

Weiner's wiener...unimpressive and not worthy of sharing on a cell phone or any other social networking device (yeah...I went there).

Protesters with no suggestions of solutions. I respect their right to protest, but at least have some intelligent suggestions and stop complaining about no jobs when you spend 2 months camped out in public places inconveniencing hard working Americans rather than actually looking for a job. (I know it wasn't all of them...but enough of them to piss me off...just saying)

That bitch in a full length fur coat at the A&P who verbally attacked one of those Salvation Army bell-ringers who was just standing off to the side quietly and not "in your face" collecting change for the needy.

Justin Bieber...like we needed her...oh, wait...

The cancellation of "FlashForward" without a definitive ending. Oh, wait...that was about 2 years ago, but still pisses me off.  Never mind!

The show "Dance Moms" on Lifetime. Never actually watched it, but saw far too many commercials for it. Seriously? This bitch cow from Hell with a mouth like Morton Downey Jr is molding young female dancers? I'm doubtful that she could even do the Bunny Hop, let alone have a daughter or know anything about success as a dancer. Seriously? Just saying.

The show "Toddlers in Tiaras" on the "learning" channel (aka TLC). What have we learned from this? Toddlers made up like hookers or televangelist sideshow freaks are acceptable? I think not and feel so badly for these innocent little girls. Again...just saying.

1/1/12

An evening of trivial love and ass-kicking (had to be there...E.U. et al). Just spent my Sunday night as every Sunday night for the past 6 years (well, there were a couple of nights I didn't...damn cable outage or power outage). You know...some may say that friends you meet online aren't actual friends, or are perverts, or are predators looking to steal your identity.  Well, if you are careful they can become actual friends who you grow to love, and are not looking to steal your identity. Perverts....well, that's another story and another thing that strengthens the friendship over the years, because we can all be innocently perverted. Just saying!